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"im not crazy just normal"- Jessica
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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "jessica848" journal:[<< Previous 10 entries]
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03:03 pm
[Link] | i cant even believe it, every fricken time things start to seem normal again i get a giant slap in the face. the mark is still fresh ::sigh:: i dont know what i am going to do. i dont think that i can cope with things right now. ::double sigh::
save me from myself.
Current Mood:  crushed
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06:15 pm
[Link] | screw math!!!!
so yesterday was my bday and thanx to bobby and others it was AWESOME! i felt so loved. it was nice. (my dad made me wash the writing off my car)
i need to learn to go to sleep at night. i think this lack of sleep has gotten me sick or something. im just trying to live it up while i can i guess.
there are many different things on my mind at this moment. it would just be easier if i new what everyone else was thinking haha.
i'll make this short
cya
Current Mood:  confused
Current Music: metallica- nothing else matters
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03:13 am
[Link] | all i ever wanted was someone to understand me and to love me unconditionally for who i am. to understand our differences and try. to show me how much they care. to be happy with me and only me.
all i need is for someone to save me right now.
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: cat and mouse- trjp
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11:29 am
[Link] | hung out with dawn last night in baycity, i was a little tired but still fun. i should of tipped that singer guy!! haha maybe he would of played jewel again (covers ears). the coffee shop was cool. jennifer and her boy toy were there. along with some others. fun fun. dawn and i should of gotten on the party boat. we missed out.
damn
anyway i went shopping earlier that day got some cute new clothes and many sexy bras/undies... dont be wierded out that i told u. trust me after a guy makes u feel like shit having sexy undergarments they cant see just makes u feel sexy and beautiful. its like a ha ha to all the guys who screwed u over. i might go shopping again today, i need a coat. i dunno i dont want to spend too much, but hey im in mourning here. i will splurg. besides my birthdays coming up so i can use that as my excuse right?
not sure what im doing tonight. i wanna go out and party, but just gotta find somewhere and some people to hang with.
Current Mood:  bored
Current Music: hinder- better than me
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06:00 pm
[Link] |
this is only my opinion please dont take offense
i picked up my things- its in gods hands now. and yes i had told people i believed in evolution they just assumed that i hated the idea of god. what i would have told those people would of been that i do believe we evolved, but thats not what comforts you when your in pain. your comforted by knowing theres someone out there who cares. i had that person- a living breathing person. i didnt need god. i need him now.
christians may hate me now, but i am willing to listen to anyone who has their opinions about god. i even started to read the bible- even tho i was doing it for jerry i will continue to read it. its not fair for me to have an opinion without seeing both sides. did i say i didnt believe in god? i dont think i ever said that. i said that i believe evolution took place. does that make me wrong? if you believe in god can you not believe evolution took place? im so confused because learning about religion is all new to me.
the 23rd of september will be an important day for me.
Current Mood: depressed
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11:54 am
[Link] | grr i need to stay away from public places. i went to meijer and randomly started to cry. everything just upsets me right now. i think i've lost it.
Current Mood: crappy
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10:29 am
[Link] | god i woke up in the middle of nightmare- wait its my life!!!
i am beyond upset right now.
cheated on again.
what more can i say.
my heart has been ripped out and stepped on. i want to cry and puke at the same time. i must say that the second time around has a little sting to it, but doesnt hurt as bad as the first. maybe because it wasnt with my sister this time.
my life is turned upside down
Current Mood:  shocked
Current Music: gnarls barkly- crazy
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03:22 pm
[Link] | i am extremely frustrated. one because all of the hits i've left a certain someone about feeling a bit ignored havent helped, two because when a person tells you they arent going to do something and then do it behind your back it makes ME WANT TO GRRRRRR!!!! okay. im good. if i acted in anyway like him i would get my ass chewed off to no end. seriously. he wants to play those games let him. and any other person who wants to go ahead and try.
let me just jump right out and say something... to liz. liz, have you not gotten any of my hints? seriously girl. i was outside of your house the day before you left for school. what did i find? you were having a party. never once did u call and say u were leaving or in any way attempt to say goodbye or to talk to me even now. i dont understand, i thought we were beter than that. and dont worry im not trying to get you upset im just tired of not sayin it straight out. and this was the closest thing.
in othernews, other than boys being extremely insensitive. i plan on going out tonight just to proove that i am not a bum. i WILL have fun.
Current Mood:  devious
Current Music: buttons- pussycat dolls
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08:17 am
[Link] | i am off to my first day of school. how exciting. i think im gunna cry haha
Current Mood:  blah
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09:10 am
[Link] | i am a failure. i have never failed at anything mostly because i never did anything that i believed i could fail at. at the slightest chance of failing i'd back out. but i have failed. the sad part is that i dont know what to do about it. there isnt anything that i can think of. i am at a loss and my heart is broken.
pick up the pieces
Current Mood: numb
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